36 Comments

Just coming back to you blog after a while. I have also been thinking about Marc earlier this summer. Right around the date he died I was climbing near the couloir where he and his friend fell last year. I was not quoting anyone when I wrote that " la montagne est à la fois belle et cruelle". It is just what we feel as mountain climbers, a constant attraction towards some of the most incredible sensations one can experience despite a high level of danger, and the cruelty of fate when an accident occurs.

Expand full comment

Thanks so much for this, Seb. I hope you don't mind that I quoted you! Your sentiments make complete sense.

Expand full comment

of course I don't mind, when words transcribe feelings they have to be quoted, see you soon

Expand full comment

Thanks Seb, see you soon

Expand full comment

I've had this in my inbox for ages, until I found a moment to comment on it. To me, this perfectly captures that feeling of slight social awkwardness of what to do when you mourn someone and their death has an effect on you, but you don't feel quite close enough to have earned the right to mourn as others do. In a strange way, some of the deaths that I remain most haunted by have been those of people I didn't "know well". Work colleagues in particular (or, when younger, school friends to whom I wasn't too close). They are there, a core part of your daily fabric, and then suddenly they are not. And the chitchat and the smiles and the occasional in-depth conversation - that feeling of warmth you get from those bursts of shared humanity - has gone. Thank you for sharing this - beautifully written, as always.

Expand full comment

Lydia, thank you for this thoughtful comment! You’re exactly right.

Expand full comment

For some reason I didn't get to this right away. What a moving piece.

Expand full comment

Thanks for reading Betty ❤️

Expand full comment

I've been reading about the spate of hiking accidents in the Alps...

Expand full comment

Ben Nevis has this, I suppose like all mountain ranges. It is a sad situation to deal with. Local people and often University Students are affected. Sadly, the latter, often although they maybe experienced hikers and climbers in places such as the Alps and the Pyrenees, often underestimate the sudden climatic changes in weather conditions in this part of Scotland. I'm sorry to hear about your colleague. Fond memories of people lost to mountains.

Expand full comment

I’ve heard this about the highlands—including from Nan Shepherd’s accounts in The Living Mountain. So sad!

Expand full comment

I will check that book out Anne -thanks 4 the tip 🙂

Expand full comment

It’s still a more treacherous place than we give it credit for, especially for those willing to take risks. I know multiple people here who have lost loved ones to their passion for alpinism 😢

Expand full comment

I just remembered that an ex-student's father (from Aveyron) died up there in 2022 while on vacation in his summer home. He was 58 but had extensive high mountain hiking experience and had practiced it for decades. Once again, I'm so sorry about your colleague.

Expand full comment

So tragic!

Expand full comment

Beautifully depicted, with an appropriately therapeutic role for the trees

Expand full comment

What a moving tribute to someone I can only assume was a wonderful man. He lives in this piece.

Expand full comment

Thank you Phayvanh, that means a lot ❤️

Expand full comment

Thank you Anne, for this grace-filled eulogy to your friend. I was filled with your eloquence and kindness as I read. So sorry for your loss. Stay steady

Expand full comment

Thank you Lindsay, that’s very kind ❤️

Expand full comment

“My grief has yet to sort out its own new limbs.” This line Anne… so beautiful and so very real - I know this search for understanding grief. It takes time.

I’m so sorry you lost a friend… X

Expand full comment

Thanks so much, Susie!

Expand full comment

So beautiful and honest, Anne. Thank you for sharing! ❤️

Expand full comment

Thanks for reading Laura ❤️

Expand full comment

Your beautiful piece does justice to a life well lived - fine work, Anne!

Expand full comment

Thank you Sarah!

Expand full comment

A beautifully written description of the emotions you felt at the death of your friend. Thank you for sharing.

Expand full comment

Thanks Kate ❤️

Expand full comment

I am so sorry to read of the loss of your friend. Your post is both beautiful and deeply moving.

Expand full comment

Thanks Deborah, that means a lot ❤️

Expand full comment

My deepest condolences. Death is always hard, but the death of a colleague around the same young age as yourself is particularly jarring.

Marc sounds like a wonderful person. I'm grateful to have gotten this glimpse of him through your writing.

Expand full comment

Yes, exactly, thank you ❤️ And thanks for reading

Expand full comment

Sorry for your loss. Death is bizarre, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, a whole person just gone.

Expand full comment

So true, thanks Deb ❤️

Expand full comment

Anne, I'm so sorry about the loss of your colleague. 💔 Your thoughts about it are beautifully expressed, as always!

Expand full comment

Thanks Jan ❤️

Expand full comment